A day to look forward to.

 "Being with you makes everyday a day to look forward to," those are lovely words of love from my husband. Being married in this modern day can be anything from a task to a walk in the park. It all depends on the persons in it together. They say that marriage is such that those who are in it want out so bad and those who are out of it would do anything to be in. At times I have agreed, other times, naaah. It is in those times when the statement seems so obvious that two people who were once in love turn into monsters, they live only for self. Everything they do is driven by self gratification, they are a thirsty lot... all they do is hunt their prey until they nab the poor mate and drain them out their last. In these incidences that the similarities between man and beast become obvious.

 A few days before our anniversary, I met with my friend for lunch and she narrated a story that sounded so fictional it would only befit a novel. Mmmhh, a real life occurrence with the characters in the story so real that I could even picture their faces in my mind! And so my friend went on, to tell me how a man who had refused to take care of their daughter, born out love had decided to marry her best friend. A friend she had cried with when times were hard was all along seeing her baby's daddy! People, I know that whether this is wrong or not is entirely up to personal judgement but to me it is wrong FULLSTOP. We are fully responsible for our actions.

On a totally different scene another friend had something bothering her and she really wanted to share. I am not a marriage expert, I don't even think am near what anyone would consider their perfect marriage partner, but I know that just like a job,  in marriage you have to perform your JD and even exceed expectations if you have to derive any benefits and enjoy bliss. So we sat down, ordered and continued to chat she laughed when there was a joke and even joked back, then... she dropped the bombshell. Yes, they were having problems, nothing seems to work between them anymore. She has even toyed around with the idea of picking the kids and leaving him for good. I was dumfounded, because I didn't know what to tell her. After what seemed like hours of dissecting, we agreed on two  things. That she is part of the problem too and divorce can never be an option... marriage is a lifelong commitment. As we parted, we both vowed to make it work no matter what, because once the root of the problem is traced, a path to healing will be set.

In their book - The Promise of Marriage, RBC Ministries states in the second of God's Expectations on marriage that Friends, children and extended family are given a chance to see the kind of faithful love, honesty, moral courage, true humility, incredible patience and tender understanding that God can give in marriage.  It is in marriage that we taught the true meaning of selfless love, a love that does what it takes and locks out the attitude of "do your part, I do mine"
 So I learnt something, "Do your part and do it good even if your part is the whole!" because that is what it takes!

http://www.slideshare.net/tatianasimpson/what-is-the-promise-of-marriage






























By Heart, By Soul

Learning to Love

These past weeks have been long, measured through the events that unfolded. The experiences have just been too many but it is at the points that love has interacted with me that has brought a new dimension to living. Although cliched I agree, love does make the world go round. I mean, look at a husband and his wife when they are so in love, everything does work for them, their children are happy and healthy, their home in order from the payslip all through to no trash in the can. It is a warm home to walk into.

It has taken me over eight months to admit to this, that nobody needs to loose love. A heart must be full of love, love for God, family, friends, neighbors and strangers alike. There should never be a limit to how much love one can have in their heart. It is this very love that makes a 50year old look 20! Easier said than done. There are times when I have wanted my friends to be there more than they have ever been, times when all I have wanted is to receive, for a while. Although this never turned out to be the case, painful but I now realize that the damage is more and the loss greater if we do not acknowledge that we have failed each other and find ways of mending this precious garment of friendship. Lets move on, it is good for all of us.

Many times I have wanted to forgive and forget a friend altogether but over time I have learned that it is best if I would actually just disregard the mistake and look at the person through different eyes, for what is love without war? Yes I had a big fight with my sister, someone I love to bits, a girl I would never trade off for whatever diamonds. But look at me when things are wrong between us. When we can't sit through the night reminiscing, joking and laughing uncontrollably - absolutely no care in the world after all, I am with a group of girls who have watched me grow into the woman I am today. I am simply a wreck! So I reach out, I open my heart and say " I am Sorry" because it matters, she matters to me.
Last weekend I danced into the small of the night. I laughed with my friends till my side ached. It made me feel so alive. If it is not through love that I am able to experience this, somebody tell me what is! With love, it doesn't matter which day in July it is, I am warm. I feel rich even when all I have is one way bus fare home.

Today, I want to hold love dear. I want to tell the people who matter that I love them especially with their flaws. God knows how they put up with mine. I want to give as much love as the Lord allows me. Life is LOVE! I say.