My Courage is Founded

It is exciting to note that many times we see faith as such a big deal. When faced with a situation, you become jittery and believing becomes a far fetched dream. I am not sure where all hope goes but believing becomes a very huge task. I once read somewhere that as human beings hope is a very big part of our mere existence. We eat, live and even sleep and wake by hope alone. Every night when I go to sleep, I am sure to set my alarm clock lest I oversleep. It never occurs to me that I could sleep and never see daylight. I still ensure that my alarm is set to wake me up at the break of dawn. 5 AM!

Weddings, family gatherings and even dates are planned on hope and faith becomes very evident but should you ask the planners to have faith that the financial needs of the material day will be met. They look at you like "slap you back to reality! We're getting to work... a fundraiser is inevitable and nothing is being left to chance." I have been caught in unbelief situations being reduced into a ball of worry and panic... such misery! Then, the time comes and the feared for happens with very little intensity or days roll by and it never happens! I get annoyed, that I never trusted God, never took time to have faith and even hope was nonexistent in the midst of the worry frenzy. Unawares, I wasted time and opportunity to look up to God without fear.

Today, I look back and say " it is indeed never that serious" A situation will occur because it was meant to occur for me to move to the next chapter of my life. I am excited to note that only God knows the future and therefore everything in it is upto Him... I will not waste today worried sick about a future I know nothing of. When I was a small girl I used to sneak into my big sister's room and take her novels. Then I would read them and never want to keep it down until it was complete. It is in these reading of "borrowed" books that I read a phrase that I remember to this day " fear makes the wolf look bigger than it really is"

I'm in God, He's in me. In Him I find peace, complete rest for my troubled stubborn soul, I am rich in ways I can not explain. My joy is compete. At times I will be sad and that is okay because He will lift my spirits and He will lead me. Turning my mourning into a dance. He will raise me that I may stand on high ground. He is my rock. He is my salvation and my true Vine.

My Own Dose of Medicine

In the last few months my son graduated with an honors in the "Know it all" specialty. There is no single thing that he feels he is not an expert in. Right from making eggs, to fixing the TV to igniting the car engine in all his 9years. I have not received this well. I want him to understand at every opportunity that his father and I and all other adults have lived for longer than that and most likely know more things than he has managed in this cool era of his digital life. And just because he knows more about mutant ninjas than his science teacher will ever hear of, it's not a guarantee that he is an information genius.Before long, his suddenly introduces "rules" that all should abide to. From putting his favorite programs on timer so that they conveniently interrupt me at news hour to "do not disturb it's sleep in late Saturday."
Before I pull can figure out the worst punishment as talking doesn't seem to help. It hits me hard, that he is totally being me at the same age. Going off to boarding and learning new sheng words my sisters and I thought that mum was the most uninformed adult walking the earth. We plotted, back biting and giggling at each other knowing all to well that she will never "gitch" any of it. Her sense of fashion was from Escrava Es-aura's age.... dark, gloomy and shadiest and there was no convincing us otherwise. Here I was, buying my son a pair of shoes which is "sooo uncool" and he refuses to wear it. Among all my other woes. Shrtly, my friends shows up ranting how the son asked her to refrain from talking "mama Mboga's language" to him. We looked at each other with retro and agreed as long as it doesn't get out hand we will enjoy paying this price and high five!

More than anybody else I know I have learned that the coolest thing is to seek advice from your parent, yes, she lives in the village... doesn't have to get up and beat traffic to the office BUT she knows so much more than I do. In practically every area of life! From living, raising, loving and ooh, she has alot of mechanical knowledge. My mom taught me how to check car oil, how to know my shocks need replacing and even changed my wipers!

Is that a clueless person? I can bet my life not. This is the knowledge that our children need, it is challenge, we must know more, see more and learn more in a day than they can in a week so that when the chance to impart it comes, we just ooze of it and benefit their little souls. Being their friend with such strict boundaries so that discipline comes first and knowledge second and friendship third. Tough Love and a life of balance we achieve! Growing people, is a lifetime career from God and walking with Him makes the experience all worth it and high five!